The Most Surprising Part
When the body remembers what the mind forgot
Margot didn’t expect much from the call.
She clicked the Zoom link the way she clicked most things lately—with mild reluctance and a sigh she didn’t hear until it passed. The house was quiet. The dog was snoring. Her cardigan sleeves were stretched at the cuffs where she pulled them without noticing.
The session was called a “Visioning Practice.” She had rolled her eyes at first. Visioning, she thought, sounded like something you did if your life had gone perfectly and now you wanted something spiritual to spice it up. Not for women like her. Not for someone who had raised two kids, buried a marriage, and now filled her calendar with errands just to avoid the silence.
But something in her had clicked the link anyway.
Something deeper than her eye-roll. Something older than her doubt.
They started with introductions. Squares flickered on and off—strangers in kitchens and bedrooms, some with plants behind them, one with a cat that kept walking across the keyboard. When it was her turn, she said she was from Burlington, used to teach, and was hoping “to reconnect with myself.” She said it like a joke, but the room was kind.
Then came the practice.
The facilitator’s voice was calm, not overly precious—thank God—and invited them into a short vision meditation.
Margot closed her eyes, resting one hand on her belly. Her body didn’t feel still; it felt crowded. Her foot tapped involuntarily. Her breath was stuck high in her chest. There was a flutter in her throat and a low throb at the base of her neck that had become her default.
She tried not to think about what she looked like on camera.
“Picture yourself,” the voice said, “at some point in the future, having lived into your vision. What does it look like? Feel like? Who is there with you?”
Nothing came at first. Just static. Just her to-do list sneaking in. The kettle needed descaling. She hadn’t answered her son’s text. She still hadn’t opened the letter from the bank.
But then—something loosened.
A flicker.
A large room. Light-streaked windows. Music low in the background. People gathered, but it wasn’t chaotic. It was joyful. There were paintings on the walls. Not museum stuff—messy, bold, intimate things. There was a long wooden table with fabric and fresh bread and flowers in jars.
And then she saw herself.
Older. Laughing. Barefoot.
And painting.
When she opened her eyes, the screen was full of soft faces again.
One woman had tears on her cheek and said she hadn’t realized how long she’d been living without hope. Another person typed into the chat: “I saw my 20-year-old self again. She was radiant.”
Margot’s chest was tight. Her palms were warm. She felt a part of herself—so young, so sincere—stand up inside her and whisper, “Remember me?”
She hadn’t painted in over thirty-five years.
She’d forgotten, but her body hadn’t.
When it was her turn, she unmuted.
“I didn’t think this would matter,” she said, her voice catching on the second word. “I think I left some parts of me behind a long time ago. I didn’t mean to. I just… had things to do. People to take care of. But when I was a girl, I used to paint. I used to imagine I’d host people in this studio-café hybrid space… it felt silly then.”
She looked down.
“But it didn’t feel silly just now. It felt like it belonged to me.”
The facilitator nodded gently. “Sounds like that dream wasn’t lost. Just waiting.”
Margot smiled softly, then reached out and touched the corner of her screen.
This moment wasn’t a revelation. It was a remembering.
And it didn’t feel lonely anymore.
What Just Happened in Margot’s System?
Margot’s experience may look simple on the surface—but internally, a profound shift was happening.
IFS Lens: Parts Remember, Even When We Forget
Margot’s teenage part, the one who loved to paint and host, had been exiled—not out of malice, but practicality. Protective parts took over: the responsible teacher, the good mother, the efficient doer. These parts served her well. But they had also suppressed her creativity to keep her “safe” from judgment or disappointment.
In the meditation, the protective parts softened just enough for her exiled part to reappear—not in distress, but in vision. That’s the power of Self-energy: it creates space for parts to be witnessed again.
Polyvagal Lens: From Freeze to Flow
Before the call, Margot’s dorsal vagal system (shutdown/freeze) was in quiet control—manifesting as fatigue, flatness, and going through the motions.
During the meditation, she experienced sympathetic activation (fluttering, throat tension)—a sign of movement in the nervous system. Not dangerous, but her body testing whether this was a safe place to feel.
As others shared vulnerably, Margot shifted into ventral vagal state—connected, open, tearful in a grounded way. This co-regulation allowed her to feel not just the vision, but the community around it.
The Result: Integration Begins
Margot didn’t just remember a dream. She felt it in her body. That’s the first step of Self-led life design—listening to what’s been patiently waiting inside. Not just in memory, but in muscle and sensation.
Reflective Prompt:
Is there a part of you that once held a dream—and is still quietly waiting for your attention?
Let it speak.
You don’t have to act yet.
Just listen.
Want more stories like this? Each week, we follow characters like Margot as they navigate the inward journey of designing a self-led life—guided by vision, rooted in giftedness, and led by something deeper than performance. Paid subscribers receive both these stories and weekly Self-Led Life Design content to support your own journey.
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Loved, loved this post ! Especially because I just went through this visioning process in the Self-Led Life Design group ! This post echoed what I experienced as I stayed present with awareness and curiosity as to what parts ( sensations, images, feelings, thoughts) arose to communicate something during the process of allowing a vision to just unfold. Quite an inner experience ! My throat did flutter, and to add , I experienced other images and sensation that are unique to my inner system. I really appreciated this safe and guided space to allow for a new vision to arise from the center of my being , in concert with all my lived experiences which are present within me , yet usually veiled or inaccessible. This is an amazing journey ! Who knew !! Thanks… to be continued… P.S. I do have a cat (s) ! 😹😻🙀 However, I don’t think about “. scaling my kettle.” 🫖☕️🤭😂
Yes ,I know my Creative Self is so Proud Calm when I'm in it .