When It Finally Lands

A Self-Led Recovery Story

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Nico wasn’t planning to do the whole thing.

When they stumbled across the Self-Led Recovery series in early February, it was late at night and they were scrolling with that familiar kind of ache—looking for something that might explain why things still hurt the way they did, even after therapy, even after the new job, even after the year they tried going completely sober.

They didn’t plan on subscribing. But the title of the first audio post, Meeting Your Inner System, felt oddly like a doorframe. So they stepped through.

The voice that greeted them was calm, a little warm, and not too precious. It wasn’t promising miracles or mastery, just presence. And Nico realized about halfway through the recording that they were… listening. Really listening. To something inside them. For the first time in a while.

That night, they didn’t sleep much. But not in a panicked way. More like how you stay up late when something true is finally getting named.

They went back the next week. And the week after that.

Soon they had a Sunday ritual. They’d brew a pot of chamomile tea, pull a blanket around their shoulders, open the Substack app, and let the newest audio post unfold. Sometimes they’d pause to journal. Sometimes they just let the story swirl in the background while they folded laundry or laid on the floor. But always, they were listening with more than their ears.

By the time they reached Week 5: Befriending Exiles, Nico had started to name things—parts they’d never had language for. The one who dissociates in staff meetings. The one who still blushes with shame when they run into their mother’s friend at the grocery store. The little one who just wants someone to say, You didn’t ruin everything.

One Sunday, during Week 7: Listening for Legacy, something cracked open.

The narrator invited them to imagine a burden not their own—a belief, maybe, or a behavior passed down—and ask it gently, Is this mine to carry?

Nico paused the audio and stared out the kitchen window at the falling snow. And suddenly, a sentence rose up like steam from a mug:

“You don’t always have to earn your place.”

They hadn’t realized how many years they’d lived like they did.

The next week, they started talking to their parts out loud—quietly, when no one was home, but still. They practiced placing a hand on their chest when fear surged and saying, We’re okay. I’m here.

They weren’t perfect. One Wednesday, a part panicked at work and they ghosted a friend instead of asking for support. But when Sunday came, they listened to Week 9: Letting Go of Polarizations, and something shifted again. They realized the friend-ghosting part was trying to protect them from shame. And suddenly it made sense.

They forgave themselves. Not all at once. But enough to try again.

Now, it's April. Nico still listens each Sunday. Still folds laundry. Still meets new parts. They’re starting to call it a practice—not a fix. A path, not a performance.

Some nights, they lie on the living room floor, eyes closed, a part resting gently in their awareness. The narrator says, Let’s pause, and Nico does.

And for the first time in a long time, their life is starting to feel like it belongs to them.

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Write Your Own Self-Led Recovery Story

Nelson’s 9 Steps for story writing can help you transform a tender or transformative moment in your recovery into a short healing narrative. Try this practice in your journal or voice notes.

Prompts for a Self-Led Recovery Exercise

1. A Character

Choose a part of you that showed up recently. Name it with curiosity.
“There’s a part of me I call the Doubter…”

2. A Place

Where do you feel this part in your body or life?
“…who lives in the pit of my stomach and shows up when I try something new.”

3. A Time

When does this part show up? What triggers it?
“Last week, right before I shared in my recovery group…”

4. A Problem

What does this part worry about or try to prevent?
“He thinks if I’m honest, I’ll be judged or rejected.”

5. A Desire

What does the part really want under the fear?
“He wants to keep me safe. He wants belonging without risk.”

6. A Struggle

Describe a moment of inner conflict.
“I wanted to speak, but my mouth went dry. I almost left the meeting early.”

7. A Shift

What helped you reconnect to Self?
“Then I heard the facilitator say, ‘All of you is welcome here.’ Something softened.”

8. A Realization

What insight emerged?
“Maybe the Doubter doesn’t need to be silenced—maybe he needs reassurance.”

9. A Next Step

What action, intention, or kindness followed?
“I placed a hand on my belly and whispered, ‘Thanks for warning me. I’ve got this.’”

Now it’s your turn.

Use the 9 steps to write your own recovery story. You don’t have to share it—but if you do, you may find that your parts feel seen, and your story becomes a kind of map. A way back to Self.

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Two Self-Lead Courses Starting in May

Ready to begin your healing journey with Self-Led Recovery?

If Nico’s story stirred something in you, we invite you to join the upcoming cohort of Self-Led Recovery, beginning this May. This small group experience—limited to just 8–10 participants—offers a 4-month guided journey (May to August) grounded in the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model.

Each week, you'll receive:

• Weekly Zoom cohort meetings facilitated by Brandon

• Story-based prompts and guided journaling

• Tools to map and befriend your protective and wounded parts

• Practices like PAUSE, the 6Fs, and parts check-ins

• A trauma-informed container that supports healing at your pace

This is for anyone seeking more than coping—it's for those ready to reconnect with their true Self. Reserve your spot at www.self-ledrecovery.com

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Want to live with more clarity, purpose, and intention?

Self-Led Life Design begins this May with a small cohort of 8–10 people. This 4-month journey (May to August) supports you in moving from recovery into design—crafting a life that reflects your deepest values, gifts, and emerging direction.

What you'll experience:

• Weekly Zoom cohort meetings rooted in the 4 Pillars of Self-Led Life Design

• IFS-informed coaching tools for aligning with your authentic Self

• Exercises for visioning, goal setting, and inner obstacle mapping

• Creative prompts, guided audio, and a step-by-step workbook

• Support from a small, committed group exploring the same path

Come design your next chapter with intention at www.self-ledlifedesign.com

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